In reply to a post on my brother’s own blog on why he sucks, I decided to come up my own list on why he sucks. After living with him for over fifteen years solid, then off and on during my college years, there is plenty I could write. Fortunately for him (and the rest of us), a lot of those points of suckage don’t apply anymore. There are plenty that still do, however. After quite a bit of effort, I boiled the list down to ten. This is by no means comprehensive. Enjoy!

10 Reasons Brett Sucks

  1. He stole all my G.I. Joe figures and vehicles, then absolutely demolished them. Those things could be worth serious money now!
  2. He makes one phone call and gets a $350 baseball glove sent to him. Not because he needs it; just because he can.
  3. He lives in Tampa. Period. Can’t tough it out with the rest of us Yanks anymore.
  4. If you google “brett nyquist blog“, his web site doesn’t even show up. Mine does. HAHA!!! There’s no excuse for that at all. Thanks for the extra traffic, bro!
  5. He tells me he’s going to send me a birthday present. Nothing shows. That’s just plain cold.
  6. He bailed on what would have been the third year running of celebrating Thanksgiving in Lansing, MI. Fine, Lansing isn’t a hotbed vacation spot, but you don’t mess with tradition like that. No bucket of beer for you! (Yes, I do mean a bucket. It’s big.)
  7. He has other people buy him plane tickets for vacations.
  8. He gets the Best Buy product replacement plans. And he uses them about 8 times for each item. Lame.
  9. He works (if you can call cutting and pasting “work”) only 6 months out of the year. The other half of it he just rides around in a bus playing on his laptop and listening to his 4 iPods.
  10. He lies about sending me birthday presents. Warrants repeating.

This is why my brother Brett sucks. Once I retire, I’ll have more time to publish the full list. Thanks to Leeks for the inspiration and a great original post!